Monday, April 22, 2013

Ahoy internet land, Lasers here.

So, I wanted to post this up here so that I have something to hold me accountable.  I, Lasers, am going to get my energy up and my life back in order.  Thats right, I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps and crank it back into gear.  I'm a fourth year PhD student.  I need to finish.  I need to get a life.  And I need to stop being such a bad dog owner.  I am also planning to get back to my undergrad for homecoming this Fall, and I would like to not look and feel like such a slob.  So, as of today, the 22nd of April, I am (again) deciding to  whip myself into shape.  Emotionally and physically.  Honestly, I've been lacking motivation.  So, internet-peeps, what helps to motivate you?  What do you do to energize?

Hearts, stars, and horseshoes,

Lasers

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Thing's I should be posting about

Hello again all,

I decided to do a quick post about some of the things I originally set off to blog about in the first place.  Now, in general its just a blog written by a chemistry grad student, yes.  A chemistry grad student who has more hobbies than she should have if she hopes to ever graduate...  I want to share some of these hobbies with you today, perhaps as a teaser for future blag posts.

Okay, so here it is, my list of awesome-tastic hobbies (AKA: granny hobbies)

1.  You guys know this one, its softball.  I play on a co-ed slowpitch softball team, comprised of Chemistry department folks and people with connections to the chemistry department.  I'm still itching to play fastpitch softball again, but I'll take what I can get.

2.  Baking.  Specifically gourmet vegan cupcake baking, although I do diverge from that category every so often.

3.  Gardening.  I've recently joined a community garden where I can actually plant things in the ground, but I've had much success with peppers, chilis, basil, and eggplants.  Yum!

4.  Cooking!  Not the same as baking, I tend to make things up, or try to cook things that I love to eat in restaurants.  Right now I'm on a serious Indian cooking kick... pretty much all my spatulas are stained with turmeric.

5.  Knitting and sewing.  As mentioned before, I am working on an epic nerd scarf.  I also dabble in fashion design, and if/when I have the time, will make myself clothing items.

6.  Dancing.  I used to go out with friends to clubs, to swing dance lessons, or out for salsa dancing.  Now if I feel like dancing, I just start dancing.  I frequently have solo dance parties in my living room, it's one of the best ways to shut my brain off after a long day in the lab, and just smile and enjoy music.

I hope to be able to update with favorite recipes, patterns, and gardening know-how, along with the journey to a Chemistry PhD.  All these things are mixed into the grad school experience anyhow.  Just feel lucky that I haven't written a whole post about RuPaul's Drag Race yet... muahaha...

Hearts, stars, and horseshoes,
Lasers

Monday, March 11, 2013

Post Oral Exam Mopeyness

Hi all,

Yet again, its been way too long, this time about a year since I took and passed my oral exam.  Since that glorious day, I've been battling the resulting gloom of having absolutely no direction in my life, whatsoever.  This is what happens after you've leaped over the last major hurtle, and realized that you are lost in a maze of research where you start to lose track of what day, month, year it is.  This is my life, and has been for the past year.

Okay, so its not all doom and gloom like I'm making it sound, but it can be pretty rough.  In the months following my oral exam, I felt pretty lost.  I came to lab, did some work, went home.  Rinse, repeat.  I didn't do much else, because that's how my life had been while I was studying for my exam.  What I didn't realize in those months was that I was slowly running myself ragged, and I was losing my support circle while I was at it.  By not seeing my friends, not getting out of my house, and not exercising, I was digging myself a hole.  A hole that I'm only really now realizing that I need to climb out of if I'm going to survive the next year or so.

As you know from previous posts.  I'm an athlete, or at least I was.  I played NCAA Division 3 Softball in college.  I barely got any sleep at all in undergrad, juggling two majors, a sport, and a stupid amount of clubs, jobs, and other activities, including spending lots of time with friends.  I really enjoyed undergrad, despite all of these things.  I get to graduate school, and the number of stuff that I'm juggling is drastically smaller, but the stress level is raised up to level 11.  I dont have a competitive sports team, and I feel like I dont have time for anything but school and work.  I get out of shape.  I feel boring.  All I do is work.

Anyway, I dont know how many people out there actually read this, but I've decided that I need to turn over a new leaf.  I cant keep doing this moping around, just researching and feeling sorry for myself, thing.  I'm going to get back into some sort of shape.  I'm going to do things that I enjoy.  I'm going to get out and see friends, or make friends.  Mostly, if I fall off the wagon, I'm not going to give myself too much crap about it.  I need to rise out of this part of my life and look back at it like I do undergrad.  That I worked my ass off, and that I feel like I tried to make the best of every aspect of it.  Success in research, in classes, in tests, is not all I'm holding myself to.  I want to also be successful at being a human being, who feels like a human being.  I need to put the glitter, rainbows, and unicorns back into my life.

So, if you hear me moping, tell me to get up and have a dance party.  Or to call up my friends.  I think thats the kind of support I could use right now.  Hope that if there are any other grad students out there reading this, that this can serve as proof that you aren't crazy, or as a lesson that you hopefully do not have to learn the hard way.

Love,
Lasers